Fish

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

Quick Update!

Went to the palliative care clinic today...no results to my CT scan last Thursday although not expecting any as yet.

Pain is the main topic as this is where I go to talk through medication etc. The pain from my ulcer/scar tissue appears well under control and as long as I don't let myself become constipated after chemo (due to steroids and anti-sickness drugs which are given alongside chemo) then I am okay.

Dr M did mention that Mr S (my surgeon) would like to take a more in depth look at my colon under general anaesthetic to see what is underneath the scar tissue as he has only taken a a biopsy from the ulcerated area. He is happy to wait for a while as ultimately the treatment would be the same as I am on now. It may however make a better case for the removal of the offending piece of colon and the permanent colostomy...something to think about!

So all in all a good visit, I will update again when I get the results of the CT scan which should be in the next week or so....I have requested that my Onco emails or rings me rather than wait for the clinic (mid August)...you all know how I worry!

Much Love

T xxxx

Saturday, 23 July 2011

Post Chemo

You know what, I am lying here on my bed feeling pretty good..My conversations with God this morning is one of thank fullness for being there with me and Fran.

After all that has been done in the weeks before chemo paid off...I felt slightly jaded after the chemo...it seemed to take ages, mainly putting the cannula in - it took several goes but I wasn't worried, I felt strangely relaxed.

I slept quite a bit and drank lots of tea...I decided against the sausage, mash with onion gravy. Carol, the beef stew with dumplings was not bad so didn't  miss out. We left the hospital at about 9pm and came home...

I woke this morning at 06.30 and felt pretty good I have said my prayers and spoke about the individuals in my prayer book...I have a little red book where I write the names of those that have requested to be included or that I feel need that little mention...

So this morning I woke, not to the usual thick head but one quite clear...I had my porridge with flax seeds, blueberries, weight watchers half fat cream, teaspoon of honey and some strawberries from our garden...writing this I am painting a picture of an idyllic life, and of someone who is at peace with the world....that is a true picture as having cancer doesn't have to be all doom and gloom and self pity. Someone told me that your energies need to be balanced in death as it is in living, this will lead to a peaceful and calm life and on the opposite side a peaceful and calm death (I am not planning on going anywhere soon, just as a note). So with everything I am doing and the ultimate connection with God comes calmness. I have my moments as I am sure you are aware but today is a good day!



With breakfast, I have an admission to make...I had a small glass of Jack Daniels and Coke at 10am, not something I am going to make a habit of but something that felt right and okay to do....so no frowns out there from my many friends!

As and aside I have come across this beautiful piece of music It is called Time to say goodbye with Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman...as previously noted I am not planning on saying goodbye for a while, just this music is lovely....


Much Love to all of you out there.

Still thinking of you Rose and David!

Tony xxxx

Friday, 22 July 2011

Preparing for Chemo

Dear All,

Today and previously I have had negative thoughts of chemo...we all are aware of the terrible side effects which vary from session to session. Whilst we understand that chemo is a necessity it is not something we enjoy - until now.

For the past 3 cycles I have recently been changing my thoughts of chemo - instead of being scared of chemo and thinking of it as a bad substance invading my body, I have been thinking of it as a lifegiver as something that is purely good for me.

There are different ways in which I do this which may help others....I pray and thank the Lord for the discovery of chemo and the medical staff who study Oncology and Nurses who administer the drugs. I use EFT with Frances and Acupuncture to improve my blood flow. Everything is aimed at assisting the tumour reduction...I even visualise them being reduced to nothing/scar tissue. I visualise and talk out loud of the chemo going straight to the cancer cells, to where it is needed and not being diverted or diluted...I don't want the chemo wandering off and giving me bad side effects when it should be focusing specifically on the cancer in my body.

With my CT scan yesterday and chemo today lets see how my positive affirmations work - to be honest if they don't cure me completely I would much rather have a balanced and calm mind than a constant negative and unbalanced mind...So either way I win!

Thanks James for the concern, I promise to update my blog more regularly and also thanks to the ladies on Cancer Chat who have been checking up on me and to friends and family who constantly send me love via facebook etc.

Much Love

Tony xxxx

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Cancer Support Groups and Their Benefit - David Haas

I have been approached by David to present his interesting article via my blog...

Few illnesses are quite as devastating or life altering as cancer. Those affected by cancer are often overwhelmed by fear, anxiety, depression, pain and uncertainty. Cancer survivor groups can be an invaluable resource for such individuals. Survivor networks consist of people who have survived cancer, or are in remission or are presently undergoing cancer treatment. Many survival groups also include members of the cancer patient’s immediate family and their close friends.

Cancer survivor groups are often organized by region and by type of cancer. For example, an individual being treated for mesothelioma would find information on mesothelioma life expectancy, treatment options and other issues, with a mesothelioma support group, while someone with lung cancer might find the same information with a lung cancer support group. The groups are often structured in a manner that allows people to find and connect with others in their same area.

The prime purpose of such groups is to extend peer support to other cancer survivors and to those struggling to overcome the disease. The goal is to provide information, companionship and support, both emotionally and physically. Members can help each other understand what to expect, what to look forward to and how best to move forward with their lives. One of the prime examples of such a support network is the Cancer Survivors Network organized by the American Cancer Society.

The goal of the network is to help cancer patients and their immediate families cope with and manage the disease through the treatment and recovery phases. The network allows people with cancer to search for and find others in a similar situation. It allows them to communicate with each other via personal blogs, message boards, chat rooms and direct contact. The network offers a service call Road to Recovery that provides cancer victims with free rides to their treatments. Members of the network also often provide free lodging for those who need to travel away from their home for treatments. Like other survivor groups, all of the help and support offered by the Cancer Survivor’s Network is available for free to members. Numerous other support groups offer similar help for people trying to overcome cancer. These support networks are often a lifeline for victims that can offer them solace, information and the reassurance they need to overcome or cope with the disease.

By: David Haas

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Doing just fine!

I had my chemo yesterday afternoon and all went well. Well enough to allow me home and after sleeping for nearly 12hrs I am awake, albeit a bit groggy.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, they really do work.

Praise to the lord with much love

Tony xxx