Oh dear!

Hello Blog,

I am back from chemo yesterday...I have had a bit of a rough time probably the worst yet but when you consider what it's up against it's not going to be a couple of headache tablets and a cup of tea!

My Thursday visit was a bitter-sweet meeting, part of me is pleased and another part no so...but going back to the previous sentence it is what's needed. I was on cycle 6 of Irinotecan and 3 of Avastin...my onco has decided that it is best to carry on with the Irinotecan as I am bearing up well. They are to book me in for a scan asap to see how things are getting on. The most I am hoping for is that I have no trace of cancer in my body (I think that is what is known as a miracle, they have been known to happen) the least is that it has not progressed and maybe in the middle that it has reduced...we will see.

We did have a smile in my review as we were going through the ever growing list of side affects when I told my onco and macmillan nurse that whilst the hair on my head was pretty much okay my armpit hairs had fallen out - we laughed as we said some woman would love to have that problem then agreed it was a little drastic to have chemo. I got to ride my bike to Sheffield and back which was fun...

So after my chemo I felt very nauseous and had to have an extra injection and a lie down in a side room for a couple of hours before I was allowed home...didn't eat until a piece of toast at breakfast and then some soup for lunch...I did what my good wife recommended and stayed in bed from when I got back from hospital until about 10 minutes ago....and suprisingly I have slept for alot of that time which was good.

I had a great week from last Saturday when Colm came for a visit and cooked lunch for us...nice salmon with cous cous was really good...he brought me an early birthday present of a remote controlled helicopter which we took over the field to fly...it was so funny when it went up so high the signal couldn't control it so it flew over the trees and someones house and into their back garden...luckily they weren't in so we managed to get it back!

Monday - I went to Coventry with work for a great workshop on a new account we have and then stayed up until past 2am to get a project plan sorted...I will have to keep an eye on that as I payed for that for the rest of the week.

Tuesday - I went to take the minutes at our Church council meeting, it was lovely to see friends there that I just don't get to see enough...lots of serious talk but lots of laughter and prayers too.

Wednesday - I was on an important conference call at home unstairs, the lovely Chris and Colin came round so all I could do was listen to Chris calling from downstairs, I would have loved to see them and have prayer...there will be other times - Round to Wendy and Steve's to celebrate Steve's birthday in the evening...we had lovely Indian food from the Maazi which all enjoyed, lots of clean plates and then we had cakes and cheese and biscuits too...not all about the food, there was lots of fellowship.

Thursday - Oncologist review and blood test (only took two goes this time)...

Friday - Chemo and Biological warfare...all okay now.

Saturday - I am finally realising that I don't want this cancer any more or the treatment although obviously whilst the cancer remains then so will the treatment...difficult to explain...I have not exactly wanted the cancer just that I have never actually not wanted it...more of an acceptance - tears flowed whilst sitting on the toilet of all places...too much information or just saying it like it is!

Well been a busy week so needing to rest...still feeling rough as a bag of spanners but better than I was!

One of my favourite songs at the moment sung by Adele and written by Bob Dylan and is for you all out there who need a 'Tony Hug'

Much Love to all

T xxxx