Monday, 25 October 2010

Lets look on the positive side...

Results through...

Secondary liver tumour, two lymph node hotspots - one in my pelvic region and the other near to my main artery under my chest. 

Plan is for chemo, review meeting with my oncologist on Thursday after which surgery will be a potential option on the liver step at a time.

I added in a previous log I was looking at two options...

Option 1) Single Liver Tumour no further spread 
Option 2) Multiple spread, palliative care 

Actually it is somewhere in the middle.

Deliver me, out of my sadness
Deliver me, from all of the madness
Deliver me, courage to guide me
Deliver me, strength from inside me

All of my life I was in hiding
Wishing there was someone just like you
Now that you're here, now that I've found you
I know that you're the one to pull me through

Catch-up soon.

T x

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Green Juice - How can it not do me good!?

Fun in the Songhurst household on a Sunday afternoon...

I am done with the self pitying moods for the moment....I thought I would share what I do to make me can't just rely on the NHS or God (well actually you can). You have to take some responsibility for your own wellbeing - why does it take a life threatening illness to make us all feel this way?

Frozen Wheatgrass Supplies!
After months of buying frozen wheatgrass due to the fact I just could not seem to grow the stuff...

Lawn on the window sill
Fran took charge...and here are the results.

Me mowing the lawn...
I will still need to buy frozen wheatgrass as I cannot grow enough to sustain the volume I am taking.

For the moment I am flooding my body with the green stuff as my non-chemical chemotherapy!

Pure goodness
I have 6 fl oz a day, which equates to 6 little pots of frozen wheatgrass. The 3 trays make 2.5 fl ozs and is strong stuff!

The fresh stuff is so potent I am on half rations whilst my body gets used to it.

Just look at that green stuff - just the colour makes me feel better :-)

Mix it up!
I mix the *wheatgrass with half a bag of fresh spinach, 2 apples, a chunk of fresh ginger, a good slice of fresh lemon with 6 teaspoons of barleygrass powder, 6 teaspoons of lecithin and 3 tablespoons of E3 Live (super algae)** and a pint of water...

Nearly there
I split it into 3 juices for the day!

The containers go to work with me or sit in the fridge until I am ready...

All set for the fridge!

Why do I drink it? Because it makes me feel better than I have in years  and it has my 5 a day many times over in the fresh uncooked raw state...

Vegetables au naturale without being boiled, stir fried and no sauces... Tough going to start with for a couple of days but now it is part of my daily routine and Fran even has one a day...

p.s. If you want to actively do something to help me alongside the continual prayer and positive energy I am surrounded by, grow me 3 trays on your window sill...

I have the seeds you will need 6 seed trays and some organic compost
I germinate them and deliver them to you for planting
You put the 3 empty seed trays on top to keep them dark in a dark room for a couple of days
When the top trays are raised you take them off and pop them on newspaper on a sunny window sill
Water daily until they are 6-10 inches high where they will be harvested and juiced
The trays will be watered again until the same tray produces a second crop after which the whole process starts again

It is an amazing process and they actually look quite good on the window sill :-)

Much Love to all

Tony xxx

*Wheatgrass provides chlorophyll, amino acids, minerals, vitamins, and enzymes. Claims about the health benefits of wheatgrass range from providing supplemental nutrition to having unique curative properties.

**E3Live is an Aphanizomenon Flos Aquae, a freshwater edible species of blue green cyanophytas. Containing countless naturally occurring vitamins, minerals and nutrients, E3Live's unique liquid form also functions as an incredible energy enhancer.
  • Increase energy, stamina and feelings of wellbeing.
  • Maintain optimal brain function, mental clarity and creativity.
  • Increase mental focus and concentration
  • Cleanse and nourish the blood through the power of chlorophyll.
  • Help normalise weight
  • Support and balance immune system
  • Help maintain intestinal regularity
  • Reduce recovery time after athletic performance
  • Promote the growth of stronger nails, smoother skin and silkier hair

Friday, 22 October 2010

I failed (by the smallest of margins)

Well I wasn't very happy a bear with a sore head and whole body more like!!

I met up at the motorcycle school at 07:45 and spent the day in Rotherham on the roads where my module 2 test will be...

Ian had his module 1 in the morning at 09:15 and unfortunately failed as he skidded slightly on the emergency stop...

I had my test in the afternoon and on the hazard avoidance I failed by are supposed to go through the speed measuring device at 50kph or above and I went through at 49kph which constituted a failure...absolutely my fault as you are taught to stay in 2nd gear so you are accelerating (on a 500cc it was easy) However I changed up into 3rd gear just before the speed measuring device which dropped my speed slightly...problem here was my auto-pilot dropped in and thought, I know the revs are up lets change gear...I will have to think more next time!

Good though to give me more time although cant wait to ride my bike!

p.s. on the other note, Multi-Disciplinary-Team (MDT) meeting is on Monday where the results of the scan and treatment options are discussed...An appointment to see Mr S next Thursday dropped through the door today - spoke with my nurse who agreed to call me and tell me over the phone if she is allowed to do so on Monday.

vroom vroom

T xx

Monday, 18 October 2010

Home again...

After a bit of a day having my PET scan I am having a cuppa....

I went for my scan at 09.30 and after having the cannula put in my arm I then had to wait until 2.30 for the radioactive injection, another 50 minutes for it to float round my body and then about 45 minutes to have the scan...finally left the unit at 16.30.

I felt bad for the other people that were cancelled as due to a software problem the PET scanner could not function, for some reason they kept me there so I had the whole unit all to myself...

One good thing came of my scan (apart from the obvious scanning for rogue cancer)... I complained of a bad shoulder which has been bothering me for some time...I have not been to see Dr P on this and a swollen knee as there has been enough going on...anyways I had to stop the scan twice because it was so uncomfortable having my arms above my head for nearly an hour...afterwards the technician said I must have injured my shoulder as I had some inflammation that showed up on the, I went and got some Ibruprofen and it feels much better than it has for a while...

Home now and warm...waiting on my CEA blood results and scan results...for some reason I am in no hurry to get them this time so will wait patiently....

Fran was there with me waiting for most of the time and taunted me unintentionally with a pack of shortbread biscuits...I hadn't eaten since 8pm the previous evening so they did look rather nice...

The K's looked after Charlotte this evening after school and fed her before bringing her home...I unfortunately cant have a hug as I have to keep my distance for 8hrs as I am stuff this technology and if you are interested have a look at the link:

Chris and Colin came round last night with some flowers from the Sunday evening service...we said a prayer which was sorely needed and of great comfort...thank-you

Much Love

T xxx

Sunday, 17 October 2010

Thursday Appointment...


Sorry I haven't updated before, been a bit stunned.

Went in for my 09:40 appointment, met Eileen the Colorectal Nurse which made me feel slightly better to see a familiar face...also saw Knowlesey outside the hospital (a brilliant chap who was in my ward) - He looked real smart as going for an interview, I wonder how he got on!

Mr S confirmed that he believed I had a secondary liver tumour and a shadow in my pelvic region. He performed a sigmoidoscopy and ruled out any local recurrence and informed me they would arrange an urgent PET scan. I also discussed my current regime which he said would not do me any harm and that alot of the 'alternative' medicine is not based on much scientific evidence so to be careful. As long as I was eating a balanced diet it all should be fine.

Checked out the dull ache in my left side - probably attributed to the liver problems. The burning sensation on my left scarring is probably due to nerve damage as is the pain in the backside when I sit for a while...

The prognosis so far is...the PET scan will show the full story (whether there are more tumours in my liver, lungs or cancer in my lymph nodes and/or bones)...I am trying so hard not to borrow trouble until it is here but it gets more and more difficult - so I look at the top and bottom of what I have been told:

1) If there are no further spread and the tumour in my liver is of operable size it will be removed.

2) If there is any spread elsewhere they will be talking palliative care to control the cancer (not dwelling too much on that one)

I received a call from the Northern General on Friday evening to arrange the PET scan for 09:30 Monday am...all sorted...Charlotte is round at the K's for tea Monday as I will be radioactive and have been told to stay away from pregnant ladies and kids under 16 for 8 hours so will pick her up later.

Man I could do with a drink, but like I said before with a dodgy liver probably not the best choice to make! However if option 2) I will be off down the Duke of Wellington for one last session before green juice and green tea all the way...

All my family and friends are mobilised...the prayer warriors have been put on alert (thanks minister Lyn) so whilst I am not sure of a definite cure things will be the best they can be..

Richard as always is looking after my interests at work and I hope to close a couple of projects prior to any time off required.

I also have my module 1 motorbike test next Wednesday after which I will be able to book my module 2 and once they are passed I can ride my has to have goals in life!

Any way my stomach has settled down a bit so off to bed to get some beauty sleep...

Much Love to all and God bless.

T xx

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Here we go again!

Hello all,

Well my persistence paid off and found out why Mr S wants to see me tomorrow morning at 09:40....

They found a suspicious mass in my liver, I am to get my PET scan after which they will be able to determine if it has also spread to my bones and/or lymph nodes.

If it is only in my liver they can do curative surgery (I like the sound of that), although if it is spread elsewhere there will only be the palliative route.

One chapter ends and another begins...

I hate to ask again but any chance you can start with the praying again, I have a bike to ride!

T xx

Monday, 11 October 2010

Midlife Crisis!

They say that when a man has a mid-life crisis they do one of three things:

New wife, nope happy with the one I have

New Job, nope happy with the one I have

New car, okay with the one I have, however thought it about time I passed my bike test...test yet to come so have brought a new bike...I hope you all approve of the model:

I promise you all that I will drive slowly!


Saturday, 2 October 2010

There is significant uncertainty over my future - apparently!

I have my scan tomorrow morning at 08.40 and will probably get results back in about a week. Whilst I had many scans in hospital this is the first after my release and is part of the regular check up programme. iIt is only a CT scan, I am looking to push for the PET soon. My care team are discussing at the next MDT meeting so I will keep on top of that.

Work wise, I am knackered as still having panic attacks on occasion at night so can't sleep too good although these are getting less and less...thankfully - I saw the occupational health guy a couple of weeks ago. My company wanted to ensure I am fit for work so went to see the company doctor and got his report this morning.... the last part is a bit of a shocker and I quote...

"As regards the short, medium and long-term effects, as I think you appreciate, there is significant uncertainty over his future. In the short term there is good reason to expect that Tony will maintain his current level of performance and most probably improve. The long term we must be more guarded about since there is a significant chance of recurrence of the condition...."

Prayer is not just for when you are in trouble but it helps me enormously when I am - I am not accepting there is 'significant uncertainty' - I know I am here to stay!

Much Love and blessings to all.

T xxx