Friday, 31 December 2010


Happy New Year to all my lovely readers....been a tough year but I have learnt so much about me and the people around me...would I change anything? Absolutely would change the prognosis but the experiences and the people I have met along the way absolutely not.

So as I toast the New Year round at the Lingards with many of my friends I will say a toast to absent family and friends, to the many that are struggling with illness and to those that didn't make are all my heroes...thanks!

God bless all.

Tony and Frances xx

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

On yer bike!

I have just been out for a spin and after a bit of a hiccup with the clutch not working (had to top up the fluid) - it went like a dream....

It was wet dark and foggy but I didn't want to get off and the seat is so comfortable on a bigger bike I could have stayed out a lot later had I not been aware that Fran would be worried!

I went to Matlock Bath and chatted with a bloke at 'the kiosk' who checked the brake fluid reservoir and told me my clutch problems were due to a lack of clutch I rode to a little shop in Chesterfield, purchased some fluid and a little screwdriver set and fixed my bike!

Nice to do other stuff!

T xx

Monday, 27 December 2010

A great Christmas...

Christmas Eve got off to a bumpy start but once we all settled down everything just happened...

Charlotte and I prepared the vegetables and some stuffing for Christmas lunch, Fran went out and delivered cards and then I went and shopped for a couple of last minute presents. I stopped off at the Kenyons for a cuppa and met Henry (Mr Kenyon Snr) - what a warm household and not just because of the fire!

I called Fran at 5pm on the way home and asked if she fancied a drink...not something we had done for months and one of our last encounters at the Duke of Wellington ended with a leaky stoma down my leg so demons needed exorcising!  I picked up Fran and off we went...a nice pint of Stella, we also met Amanda and Sam our next door neighbours which was great too. We moved into our house in Aug 09 and had not even had the chance to say hello properly because of one thing or a good opportunity.

Only the one pint on Christmas Eve but it was great to be out just for a while with my beautiful wife...

We put out the carrot, mince pie and glass of sherry and read 'Twas the night before Christmas' with all three of us reading a page at a time...

Spoke with Colm on a video call who is in Ireland on Skype...modern technology!

Bed at half past midnight and then the dreaded chemo side effects kicked in from 03:30 onwards....

Christmas Day - the birth of our lord, Hallelujah!

After breakfast of crumpets and tea we opened stockings and got ready to go to worship.

I stupidly rode my bike to the bandstand in the park for out Sunday service, it was so icy I was very lucky not to crash...It was a great albeit cold service and lovely to see our friends on Christmas morning to celebrate!

The Songhurst's opened a bottle of bucks fizz, and I jokingly pointed the cork at Fran then moved it out of her line of fire...the cork popped and instead of going straight up it did a perfect arch and bonked straight on Fran's that was funny and we all laughed so hard!

Great lunch and watched 'Singing in the rain'. I have never seen it and thoroughly enjoyed it.

I received some great presents from Santa, most notably was a pink Ralph Lauren shirt, one I had liked and admired in a shop in Bakewell, very nice and very expensive...thanks Fran xx (also sorry I broke my mini remote controlled helicopter within 30 minutes crashing it into the ground - there must have been a design fault!)

Had an absolute great day and slept for 9 hrs straight, probably due to being up since 3am although the brandys probably helped....

Much Love to all.

Tony xx

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Day 376 - Tuesday 21.12.10

Dear All,

Many thanks for the support over the past few weeks - I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself which is just not on!

It has felt like I have been at the wrong end of a very long dark tunnel and now I feel I am nearly out the other side.

I am still a bit fed-up with the quarantine situation as I am purposely staying away from gatherings as dont want to get a germ or infection...I have had so much grief in the past year with one thing or another so taking no chances.

I have managed to go out on my bike once last Wednesday - the acceleration is incredible, apparently the bike does 135+ mph and accelerates at 0-60 in under 3 secs...not ready for that yet!

So all good and glad to hear many of my friends doing so well and those that are struggling, please believe me when I say there are silver linings in everything.

If you haven't yet seen my quotes, please have a look at the links below...not a boast to say look at me just a sense of pride that I can make a difference even with the worst prognosis.

Also I asked my Onco a couple of questions and the answer was YES to both...

1. Do I need a flu Jab - YES

2. Can I have a couple of glasses of Red Wine over Christmas - YES

So you had all better watch out as I haven't had a drink in months...seriously though I wont probably have more than a glass but it is just nice to know I can!

One final positive note...with all that has gone on in just the past couple of months I am feeling better and stronger than I did this time last year...whilst I still have cancer in my body it is not the great big life sucking lump I had in my bowel that stopped me walking, sleeping and sitting down...every cloud ay!

Gods Blessings to you all.

T xxx

Friday, 17 December 2010

Is Chemo meant to be fun...surely not...

How can having chemo be fun, surely I must be going mad or maybe kindred spirits pull together...

I had a lady to my left having chemo for bowel cancer...she was lovely and her husband had us in stitches with his stories about dishpan hands and having to get the ironing done before 6pm as he wanted to watch tele. There was a lady next to her who was lovely and a lady next to her and actually opposite me who was there all day and looked stunning with a big smile and a head scarf.

We laughed and joked about me being a londoner and changing into a northerner...I now have my dinner at lunch time and tea at dinner time and leave out the word 'The' when saying sentances as in 'I am off down shops'

The chap with his wife next to me told me to check my pockets as I left as all the dodgy northerners would have had their hands in me pockets - that got the biggest laugh...

I had my 3rd of 6 of Irinotecan and have been told I will have Avastin in 3 weeks time on 7th Jan (there I go again leaving out 'The').

Feel like crap now but things ain't so bad... I used to feel bad like this regularly with a bloody hangover and that was self inflicted...

Much Love and Gods blessings

Tony xxx

Thursday, 16 December 2010

Just Say Yes...

Hello Blog and all you readers...

I had my review with my lovely Oncologist and Macmillan nurse today - whilst not exactly wanting to be there we have already built up a healthy rapport and discuss the enormously heavy subject with sometimes a smile.

My side affects of Irinotecan have been numerous but not too bad and nothing I can't handle. 

I had some good, no actually great news...3 weeks ago I was told that my treatment plan would involve some pretty expensive drugs that would need an application for funding in order for me to have them. I had horrible thoughts of not getting the funding and having to do sponsored walks and maybe start to train for the London Marathon. Anyway - the application has been accepted and funding granted for Avastin, a fairly new wonder-drug that works to prevent and reduce tumour growth. It stops new blood vessels forming so starving the tumour of blood and preventing growth. It is know as a Biological Therapy and should work well alongside the chemotherapy drug Irinotecan (which works to stop cells dividing) - again not a cure but a method to slow things down and try and stop the cancer getting any worse.

The plan is for me to complete this course of Irinotecan (I have 4 more treatments lasting approx 9 weeks). The team will assess if my body needs a rest and either way will start a combined course of Irinotecan and Avastin. My theory is that with Prayer, EFT and my supplements I will ensure my body does not need a rest as whilst my body is resting and off-guard the little cancer cells are doing their work, so no rest for me!

I have reviewed the side affects and mixed with Irinotecan my cells are going to get rather confused so not looking forward to it.

For those that are going through similar or want to have a nose I have the links below:



Finally on a lighter note...I am famous...Please have a look on the link which takes you to an article about the relaunch of the Cancer Chat website...and little me is noted in it...

Much Love to all,

Tony xxx

Monday, 13 December 2010

Clear the roads!

At last I have finally managed to pass my is to be delivered on Wednesday and its new home is prepared and ready for the new arrival.

Prayers really do work as I selfishly prayed for myself - I know enough about the way prayers work to know not to pray that I passed my test or that I win the lottery, that is not how prayers work. I prayed that I would be safe on the road and would be calm...and I was!

p.s. Doing okay and feeling not too bad at the moment - the tiredness, mouth ulcers and dia is the worst but it is becoming the new 'normal' - Not normal for some but normal for me so I am learning to live with it.

Evil Irene (Irinotecan) No.3 on Friday and looking forward to celebrating Christmas for all the right reasons!

Much Love

T xxx

Friday, 3 December 2010

What else is there?

Just so you know that my life doesn't revolve around also revolves around snow...

Fran was supposed to be in Bakewell for Mon-Tue of this week and is still there, probably for the next day or so.

Poor Charlotte has been put to work as she is off school and I reckon sometimes she wished she was in class, especially when I sent her t' shops to get catfood, eggs and sausages (I don't eat sausages honest, they are not on my approved list - but they did taste good!)