Thursday, 20 May 2010

Day 161 Thu 20/05/10

Good Morning,

Cant sleep as seem to be thinking as usual...even though I am feeling better and stronger than I have in months I still have a dark patch nagging at the back of my head that I keep pushing back there. I will deal with it soon as I did when I first found out and went into overdrive about preparing for the future.

Went for the last radiotherapy session, told that the side effects and the sunburn on my backside will get worse for the next couple of weeks before it gets better, oh everything else I will get through it.

Fran came with me today which was lovely...I love the way she links arms with me when I need it most...we went to the canteen on the 2nd floor at Weston Park and had lunch, bit like school dinners but nice and seemed fitting to have a celebration lunch out at the hospital. Took the reception ladies some roses and some for the ladies on the LA7 unit...I have a follow-up appointment to plan for 4-5 weeks time to check and then the reversal.

I also had my last consultation for a while with Dr Furniss on Tuesday...she is straight to the point and has a good sense of humour...when I mention a sore bum or sore when having a wee she says yep thats one of ours!

After the last treatment Fran and I went to a shop in Sheffield that I had seen several days a go that sells tiles...with showers for 5k we had a good look round and went to focus and spent £70 on floor tiles for the conservatory :-)

WE also went to an Audi garage to look at cars...there was an absolute beauty of a car an R6 Quattro I think it is called...60k, I'll have to stick with my Picasso for a while longer!

Back home and the bloody boiler has packed up again so the gas man is coming back at 08.00-10.00 with a replacement fan...

Life goes on but something tells me it will and never should be the same again.

Finally, I have been chatting on a cancer forum with Dizzie (Carole) who is starting on her journey...she is showing great courage and like me has her down days, however I see in the future her growing old...never the same but then again we all change and evolve...she is in my prayers.

Funny thing.. I nearly always spell cancer with a capital C and then reduce it down to lower case...unlike when I spell God it is spelt and quite deservedly with a capital G, cancer does not deserve a capital C...going crazy I know so off to sleep....

T xx


  1. Ignore that 'dark patch' Tony....I feel all will be well and it's just a normal fear. Every lump, every twinge, everything that was once 'normal' now feels odd/weird/ WILL be ok. 'I feel it in my waters' (as my nan used to say all the time)
    Much love, Carole x

  2. wish i had known you were awake !!i to cant sleep and have that feeling that i need to blow the dark clouds away!!well our kid its changed us all! we still have you and that is enough for us!!!i hate the middle of the night the world asleep and my head working overtime and then when i finally drop off i get a text"mum i forgot my key iam on the bus will be home in half hour!!"this is 3am!!just leave the door unlocked!!yep whilst things have changed some things remain the same!!soz to waffle !!love ya big bro little sis xxxx

  3. Hey Tone, we have changed ,all of us but for the better!! none of us really realised the difficult journey you who have been touched by cancer have to tread , the strength you find from within and everyone has their different ways of coping , the awful treatments and waiting for results it is amazing we are so proud of you !!x theres a few more steps to go and then back to work and everyday mundane tasks and to relax and enjoy just being ! what a blessing that will be !!love to Frances &charlotte xx all our love ma n pa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx