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Thursday, 17 June 2010

Day 189 Thu 17/06/10

I have had enough now...changed my stoma (removed the name Stanley as not funny any-more, not that a leaking stoma was ever funny!). Anyway I am rambling...changed my stoma at 8pm and 11pm last night, then 5am and 8.30am this morning. It is so, so sore and I am feeling that the operation on Monday is now at risk so drastic action is required...

I asked Charlotte what she thought I should do and she wisely said that I should call the stoma nurse team. Called and spoke with the lovely Kim who said "Oh, hello we have just been talking about you". I am to pay them a visit at 11.45 today and hope they can sort the red raw skin out as the bags are just not able to stick to the skin properly hence the leaking and then more soreness as the output sits on the skin for a short while until I notice.

Called Fran as she is working away for a couple of days and we both had a few tears - we are nearly there!

It is Fran's birthday tomorrow so have just made sure her presents are wrapped in case I am admitted today (Fran told me where the sellotape was)

A few words for Fran...

Made a wish, I can dream
I can be what I want to be
Not afraid to live my life
And fulfil my fantasies

I learnt a lot of tricks to help me live my life
You helped me find my paradise
When you came into my life I saw

Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel like
I'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far

Reaching out, for the highs
You inspired me to try
I felt the magic inside
And I felt that I could fly
I'm looking at the world in an optimistic light
You made me appreciate my life
'Cos when you came into my life you were my

Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel like
I'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far

You are the calm
I am the storm
You are the breeze that carries me on
When I said a truth
You wink at me
You're there for me

Sunshine (oh yeah)
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me that I'll go far
Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star

Cheers, love and gods blessings to you all that have supported me - family and friends...from prayers, emails, texts, call, visits, facebook, my blog and the cancer research forum, this has been an immense struggle..I have tried my best to be strong and brave but it is not easy.

Much love and Gods blessings to the lovely Marie (wife of David) - here's hoping she recovers quickly from her fall - Now there is true inspiration xx

T x

4 comments:

  1. It's not about always being strong and brave Tony (although you have been both) it's also about being able to say it's been a struggle and admit that (despite chucking humour around and trying to make others feel better) sometimes it's just has to be about you!

    You're allowed to feel that this has been a very rough road and you're entitled to think that you didn't actually want to go down this route...

    I'm hoping they can sort out the soreness for you today and that all goes ahead on Monday - keeping everything crossed tightly for you xxx

    Very Happy Birthday wishes to Fran for Friday 18th June x....and I did smile at the 'Fran told me where the sellotape was' comment :-)
    Carole x

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  2. that is sooo brilliant and is exactly Fran, hoping that everything goes according to plan !!!!its been a rough path to tread and u are entitled to stumble now and again (u haven,t done that often!!)anyone going through this will appreciate your honesty and it will help them be prepared , it has also given an insight into the difficult journey and treatment people have to endure , we are so proud of you and Frances n love to the girls all our love n thoughts see u soon ma n pa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  3. Just have to add that the words are from the song Sunshine by Gabrielle, if you get the chance have a listen it is truly a beautiful song. Not my words but they say exactly what I want to say! X

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  4. just read your blog Tony. Your words about Fran were very moving (especially as I originally thought you had written them) Feeling for you and hoping the stoma team have been able to give you some relief. Happy Birthday to Fran.

    Really praying for Monday for you and Fran. Give old stanley (or should I use a ruder name) the old heave ho.
    B&G

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