Hello Blog and readers,
Just in case you are interested, things are moving along just nicely thankyou. No more frantic rushing about and sleeping in the en-suite although timings are a little random so hoping to be a bit more regular soon!
Wound is healing nicely and district nurse comes every 3 days now. Time to think about going back to work (Yes I know I need to take it easy...with nearly 7 months off I am going to be taking it slowly). I have a great support network with Richard and Alistair looking after my welfare from RRD..Cheers Chaps!
I am getting the physical side sorted but need to look at the psychological impacts this cancer has had....just thought yesterday and today that I probably need to face up to this side sooner rather than later otherwise will all come crashing down later down the road. I have been going on the cancer research website and chatting with other sufferers and although this has helped me enormously I feel it has also masked what I actual feel deep down....I have logged a lot of what I think on here but now believe I need to face up to the past, present and future before moving on properly....looking into hows and whys so will keep you posted. What started this...well I have always been a bit grumpy and when I found out I had cancer I seemed to chill a bit as the old neuroses didn't seem that important...now all I seem to be thinking of is when will it come back and how will I deal with it....I hope it doesn't come back in the bowel as don't want all that again but then is that better than the other sites of metastasis, the lungs or liver...see what I mean...it just rolls on and on...it is coming out as anger as I have been even grumpier than usual and there seems so much anger in the front of my head... Please don't worry as I will get it sorted...as you know this blog is initially for my thoughts and secondly to let you all know how I am thinking....I just want to move on..as Wend said last week, give it time Tone! x
Went to Matlock Moor service on Sunday - Peter was preaching, it is always good to see and listen to him...his delivery is good, strong and honest. Looking forward to seeing Lyn our minister on Thursday (Note to Fran: no happy shopper biscuits) and then have holy communion on Sunday so will definitely try and make it twice in a row!
Must go and hug my wife now so will catch up soon....
Much love
Tony xx
Hi Tony This all sounds very encouraging. Don't worry about the different moods etc you are going through. Be ANGRY it is very normal..believe me I know. Just try not to take it out on the people who love you..well not all the time!! Look where you are now against where you were in January. You are now well on the road to recovery and going back to work soon. Talk it all out and please don't bottle it up. That guy up above is certainly listening to us all praying for you. Your ministers sound wonderful. All our love to you and Fran. xx
ReplyDeleteHi Tony, I just read your blog from start to present. I am (Dizzie)Carole's spoilt little sister, lol, me me me! I would just like to say thank you sooo much for your comments and words of support to my big sis. Having someone to connect with that actually "does understand" is important. I wish you all the luck with the rest of your journey.
ReplyDeleteps, I was one of those that said to my sister"I want to share this journey with you" LOL! Your sarcasm to this really had me laughing, but in all fairness, if I could take half the pain away for my sis then believe me I would. Keep marching! Sarah
Hi Sarah, cheers for the comment and encouragement all the way from Greece (I think that is where you are?).
ReplyDeleteI must have been having a bad day when I made that comment as people around me say that too and when you think of it, it is unfair of me when people genuinely want to share your pain.
Both you and Carole are lovely and say the nicest things...thanks!
Much Love
Tony xx
Yes I live in the Greek Island, Rhodes. I think its great that you still can give sarcasm or be witty because those around will not take offence as it brings light to the subject! I'll send you some sun, but not too much as I'm sure you've had enough "sunburn" from all the radiotherapy! :)
ReplyDeleteP.S. So happy about Spain beating the germs tonight! x
Hi Tony
ReplyDeleteLove the young skinhead snap! I could definitely join your gang at the moment!
Shents
Hey Shents,
ReplyDeleteAlways room in my gang for a pretty lady! :-)
T x