I had cancer, then I didn't, now I have it again - my thoughts are my personal words that flow when I log in. They assist me in my first instance in getting my thoughts flowing and down on virtual paper - Secondly to get friends and family in the loop, not so they don't have to ask me any awkward questions just so they are informed enough to know what to say to me and pray for the right things - As a public blog, anyone can read it - hoping it will assist others through their own challenges.
Sunday 3 January 2010
Day 24 - Sun 03/01/2010
No church at Matlock Moor this morning so stayed at home even though there were other options which didn't enter our heads until lunch-time... The tale of our Wednesday group resurrecting Aslan's table at the bandstand and in the snow and ice particularly appealed - shame I missed that one although there will be plenty more opportunities...
I was looking out of my bedroom window at the snow and that was my time to pray this morning.
I was watching tele about 10 mins ago, had turkey soup and a couple of mince pies for tea...I started getting shortness of breath and tight in my chest...I recognised this as panic so time to stick on my iPod and write my blog. Straight away 'Lean on me' by Red Box came on (if you are an 80s person you will remember this hopefully), then 'Losing My Religion' by REM and just listening to Deliver Me by The Beloved a powerful song which sums up my conversations with God and my continuing journey:
Deliver Me out of my sadness
Deliver Me from all of the madness
Deliver Me courage to guide me
Deliver Me strength from inside me
All of my life I was in hiding
wishing there was someone just like you
Now that you are here, now that I have found you
I know that you are the one to pull me through
Deliver Me loving and caring
Deliver Me giving and sharing
All of my life I was in hiding
wishing there was someone just like you
Now that you are here, now that I have found you
I know that you are the one to pull me through
Lets see what tomorrow brings, Charlotte asked questions last night for the first time about the Chemo etc, good conversation and one that I am glad we have had.
Now listening to '18' by Moby a very emotive song, If you get the chance have a listen to this and Deliver Me.. Fran has just brought me in a cup of tea and now I have no more words..
Bye for now
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